Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Prophet W. Magaya responds to Mathias Mhere's love scandal.

As yet another celebrity marriage seems to have bitten the dust with Mathias Mhere and his wife washing their dirty line in public. The question of how to recover from an affair seems more and more apt.
Prophet W. Magaya responds to Mathias Mhere's love scandal.

While it is not clear what was the actual cause of Mathias' wife to cheat, there have been previous rumours of indiscretions on Mathias's part and few things compare with the pain of betrayal.

When you love someone it feels like you are in a nice, safe, love-infused bubble that no-one can penetrate. Then, overnight, with a confession or a discovery, that bubble bursts. And boy does it burst with a bang. Some couples do survive infidelity but only if both of you honestly think the relationship is worth it and the guilty person is prepared to do everything it takes to win back your trust and love. This will help you decide and guide you through the process of recovery.
The truth of the matter is some cheating partners do not deserve to be forgiven, yet from one man who have been through a love scandal to another, if I were Prophet W. Magaya, this is the advice that i would have quickly given to Mathias Mhere and his wife:

1. Have they cheated on other people in the past?
As it stands, we have no idea whether Mathias's wife (Susan Dzinamarira) has cheated on him before.  As it stands it  is Mathias who might have possibly cheated on Susan Dzinamarira before. (Read Mathias Mhere and Susan Dzinamarira takingturns to cheat on each other?)

This information is important because, If someone has developed a pattern of cheating over and over, they will continue to do it again (and again) until someone – hopefully you – dumps them brutally and they realise they can’t get away with it. No second chances in this case. Ever.

2. Why did they do it?
We still need to decipher the reason why Mathias' wife cheated on him. A one-off incident with seemingly genuine reasons to explain it is a lot easier to forgive than repeated slip-ups or a long-term affair. It is possible the Mathias got so overwhelmed with his musical career to the extent of totally neglecting to show love and affection to his wife - the wife might have felt alone and lonely.

When it comes to cheating a one-off incident is a lot easier to forgive than repeated slip-ups or a long-term affair. My advice to Mathias in this instance would be, put yourself in their shoes: if you were them, feeling the way they did, in the situation they were in, 

  • What would you do?
  • Can you understand it?
  • What do you think they will do if they're in the same predicament in the future?
  • What guarantees can they give you that it won’t happen again?
  • How was your relationship when it happened?
You’ll be much more likely to forgive (if not forget) if you were aware your partner was unhappy, the relationship wasn’t great and you were suspicious. If you thought you were blissfully happy and didn’t notice a single sign that anything was wrong, it’s desperately hard to trust again. If there were no clues last time round, how will you know if it happens again?

3. Do they regret what they’ve done?
In one of the media articles it is stated that  Susan Dzinamarira pleaded for forgiveness and the highlighted that she will never repeat this again and when given a second chance, she will now concentrate on her children. If Susan Dzinamarira is truly guilty, she should be even more miserable about the pain it’s caused than Mathias himself.

I certainly am not Prophet W. Magaya but this is just a peace of advice that I would have given to Mathias Mhere. In the meantime, we just hope that these celeb couples will soon get over this marital hick up.

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