Friday, 24 February 2017

Mom Caught Me Having Sex

How many times have we sat around with our friends and talked about our best and worst moments during sex?

The anecdotes can make for a very good laugh. Everyone has a memorable sex story to tell and some can be more quirky and embarrassing than others.

With this in mind, we asked several people to share their most memorable sex shenanigans from the hilarious to the cringeworthy. They all agreed to do so on condition of anonymity!

There is no shame in laughing at yourself, especially when it comes to sex.

My mom walked in on me at it with a pillow!"

Zanele, 28, of Witbank

"A couple of years ago I went home to Newcastle after I took leave from work, and on that particular day, mom had gone to some women's meeting at the town hall. I was all alone in the house. I was laying on my bed, and being in a frisky mood, decided to start pleasuring myself.

"I held on to a pillow, picturing whoever I was picturing at the time and got lost in my own little world. I didn't even hear our loud gate open, or mom's footsteps in the long corridor.

"All I remember was my bedroom door flying open, and my mom standing there saying something about the spinach she had bought and how I should wash it and get the supper going.

"I was in the middle of a loud moan at the time!

"Her reaction was the worst. She gave me one look, and I froze. Our eyes met for what seemed to last for hours, but it was probably only for a second.

"She simply repeated that the spinach was in the kitchen and closed the door. I was so embarrassed, I must have spent a good 30 minutes before I came out of my room.

"I did not know if I should address the issue, or just pretend like nothing happened. Sitting down for supper that evening was very awkward, I couldn't even look mom in the eye. Needless to say, that must have been the most embarrassing moment of my life!"

"My ex and I had sex on her parents' bed and used their robes"

Sello, 31, Mabopane, Pretoria

"It happened back in the day while we were both fresh out of high school, and had taken a gap year.

"I worked as a waiter that year while she was just at home. We both stayed with our parents, so we did not really have a place to be together.

"When she asked me to come over to her house because her parents had gone to Mafikeng to a funeral that weekend, I was excited.

"It was very uncomfortable at first. I knew her parents well because we lived in the same neighbourhood and I knew that her father would kill me if they happened to walk in on us.

"When she called to check on them (which was my idea, just to make sure they were still in Mafikeng), we relaxed and started making love.

"We came up with the brilliant idea to use her parents' bed. I don't know why. Anyway we did and we even wore their matching robes afterwards and pretended to be a married couple.

"You should have seen us trying to make the bed exactly as we had found it in the morning. It is hilarious, looking back. We kept trying to figure out which pillow went where.

"After I left, I kept wondering if I left a piece of the condom wrapper somewhere in the bedroom or if anything could potentially lead them to finding out.

They never did, and eventually we grew up, broke up and moved on, but to this day when I go home and I bump into her mom or dad, I can't help but blush and wince when I remember how we once used their bed as our love nest."
Mom Caught Me Having Sex
"I forgot her name during sex!"

Zweli, Dobsonville, Soweto.

"It really wasn't our intention. Firstly, we had been drinking, and earlier in the evening I had been chatting to her sister on WhatsApp.

"I was actually trying to get hold of her.

"So somehow during sex, I called her by her sister's name. She immediately got off me and was very upset.

She hurled all sorts of insults, crying and all that I was secretly picturing her sister instead of her during sex.

"As much as I tried to explain, she wasn't buying it.

"We broke up shortly afterwards.

"These days, I go with 'baby' in the bedroom. It's definitely a safer option!"

l "I forgot my underwear at his house, and his wife almost found it!"

Matshepo, 40, Kagiso

"We were having an affair. I'm not proud of it, but it is what it was. So this one time we were having sex while his wife was at work. She actually called to say she was on her way home earlier than expected.

"I could kiss her for warning us upfront. Anyway, I just got dressed and left in a hurry, only to remember while on the highway that I was not wearing my underwear, that it was probably under the bed or something.

"I tried calling him but his phone was off. I immediately turned the car around and went back, praying that I got there on time.

"Luckily her car was not in the driveway. You should have seen his face when he opened the door. I just said 'My panties; I forgot my panties!'

"We looked everywhere and even overturned the mattress. Fortunately I found them. I took them and ran out of there, and promised myself to never put myself in that situation again!"
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